Redefining Ambition on World Mental Health Day
ambition
/amˈbɪʃ(ə)n/
noun
a strong desire to do or achieve something.
desire and determination to achieve success
‘Quiet quitting’ has been hitting the headlines for the last couple of weeks; a new term, but not a new concept. Quiet quitting went viral last month when TikTok user Zaid Khan posted a video on the benefits of not ‘outright quitting’ your job, but quitting the act of going above and beyond. That could mean leaving the office on time every day, not checking your emails or work messages in your own time, or working to your job description and doing no more; making ‘hustling’ a thing of the past. For many of us, the mere thought could be uncomfortable; being the first person in a silent, oppressive office to switch off your monitor at 5pm, stand up, put your coat on and bid a cheery “see you tomorrow” would be horrendously awkward. Ignoring emails from your boss at 9pm or on the weekend would send some people into a sleepless spiral of panic and guilt. But for others, it’s been a necessary - and actually, quite palatable - way to make life work for them; to make their work life and their outside-work life harmonious, balanced and maintainable, without actually quitting their job.
In pop culture, too, this mass cultural u-turn from hustle culture to valuing rest, meaningful connections and fun is evident. Hell, even Beyoncé’s latest single is about quitting her job and building a new foundation around love, fun and rest. People are re-evaluating what life is all about. Hustle culture gave crowns to those who were burnt out, working the hardest and the longest and making sacrifices left right and centre to the detriment of their lives outside of work; but now, as shown in Deloitte’s recent survey of more than 23,000 workers aged 18 to 38, work-life balance was found to be their top priority when choosing an employer, and 75% preferred remote or hybrid patterns. So it really is a u-turn, rather than us going in a new direction; humans once had a work/life balance, before modern technology rendered us unable to escape the ever-reaching, creeping tendrils of ‘being contactable’. We progressing backwards; going on a wonderfully oxymoronic and much-needed journey.
Dissatisfaction with how things are in the working world has been mounting for decades. Our disdain for bad management, rigid hierarchies, poor working atmospheres and a lack of personal and professional boundaries in the workplace was brought to the surface in 2020, when many (ultimately privileged, as many key workers couldn’t do this) people realised that they could do their jobs from home, and that they actually quite liked it. We were reminded by the pandemic that health - mental and physical, as they are one and the same - family and relationships were the most valuable things of all, and that our careers were sometimes a distraction from those things, as well as being a means to survive. We gained hours in a day from not having to commute, we were able to work in comfortable clothes and take walks on our breaks and start and finish when it suited us. We realised that nothing bad happens when we only work our actual working hours, or if we adapt them slightly to suit us where possible. We realised that it’s important to prioritise the 5-9, not the 9-5.
For many years, I worked in recruitment. It was a very male-dominated, corporate team of 50+ people in a huge open-plan office where, in theory, we worked 9-5. It didn’t occur to me that I was even allowed to consider setting boundaries around this. I would sit, watching the clock tick past 5pm, 6pm, 7pm, still working because I and the people around me were too scared to be the first to leave. I would work through lunch breaks, constantly worried that if I stopped for even a minute, I’d be seen as lazy. I didn’t go to see the doctor when I should, or the dentist, or take important personal calls to ensure my life outside of work continued to tick over. I often got told that I wasn’t “hungry” or “ambitious” enough, that I wasn’t pushing clients hard enough or making enough phone calls after hours or spending my evenings taking clients for drinks enough. I felt bad using sick leave or holidays - indeed, holiday requests were just that; requests which were often turned down. When I experienced a miscarriage, I took two days off - it was company policy that on each day of sick leave, you must phone your manager to tell them you’re still sick. On my second day off, when I was in the throes of grief and physical pain that I thought might kill me, I forgot to phone. When I returned to work the very next day, I was called straight into a disciplinary meeting for forgetting to phone them. I decided, right there and then, to quit. I could never be ‘enough’ for that company.
My tale is not unique. I know so many people - brilliant, kind, hard-working, talented people - who have been driven out of jobs because they weren’t adhering to totally unrealistic, brutal and inhumane working conditions. Working to the ‘hustle’ template can have a horrendous impact on your wellbeing. Aside from being physically and mentally drained from working long hours, there’s the guilt, the imposter syndrome, the resentment, the uncomfortable colleague dynamics, the oppressive loneliness that comes with your entire existence revolving around pleasing people who would replace you in a heartbeat if the need arose. You, the human you, are irreplaceable. It took complete burnout and moving to a different country for me to quit ‘the grind’ and leave behind that industry and environment which had taken so much from me. So, if the alternative is ‘quiet quitting’, it seems that it could be a wholly positive thing for both the individuals and the company who gets to retain those individuals. It’s a mindset shift which gives power back to your human self, and control over your life, your time and your wellbeing.
Not every company is the horror show that my previous employer was, thankfully, but protecting mental health and preventing burnout is just as crucial in happy settings too - like Tandem! Many people work hard and struggle to turn off because they just love what they do, and are investing all their time and energy into something willingly, not because they’re scared of what happens when they do stop. They genuinely care, and that’s a wonderful thing. But it’s just as important to encourage those people to set boundaries for themselves, or, if they don’t feel they can do that, that the people in charge set boundaries for them. Pre-Tandem but post-hellhole, when I worked happier but very imperfect jobs, I sat through so many work meetings where people were commended and awarded for "always being the first one here in the morning and last to leave” or for exhausting themselves to get big wins for their company. While it’s important to care about what you do and do your best, if it’s coming at the expense of your wellbeing, it is so rarely worth it.
The current working generation’s shift towards a more balanced life is causing some people to cast judgements such as ‘people aren’t ambitious any more’ or ‘nobody wants to work’ (words which, when they come from Kim Kardashian, are all the more irritating) and this comes entirely from the opinion that unless you’re exhausting yourself or sacrificing something, you aren’t fighting hard enough. Unless you’re constantly climbing the ladder, scaling the wall, breaking the glass ceiling, aiming for the clouds, you aren’t doing enough. But we are ambitious. My peers here at Tandem are the most ambitious people I’ve ever met; and some of them sleep until mid-day. Some of them (myself included) would rather pull off their fingernails than return to the high-pressure, fast-paced rat race. We don’t want to be constantly climbing ladders, or scaling mountains (unless they’re real, some of us like doing that) or smashing through glass ceilings - that sounds horrendous. We want to be comfortable, and safe, and happy, and to enjoy what we do each day. We are all here because we love books, film and TV, and we get paid to love and talk and write about those things, in an environment where people are trusted, free to explore their interests and make suggestions and action those things, where every voice is heard and encouraged to speak up, where rest and creative recharging is encouraged. Every Friday, we read, we rest, we refill our creative cups and we don’t do anything even vaguely considered to be Hard Work. Our email signatures make our working days very clear, and our expectations of a reply even clearer; in your own time, when you’re working, thank you. From owner of the company to youngest member of the team, we all get paid the same hourly rate - every single one of us. If we want to work more, we work more, if we want to work less, we work less, as long as we deliver what we’ve said we will deliver. If we can’t deliver that thing, we ask for help, and help is delivered to us. When we make mistakes, we learn; no fingers are pointed and nobody is shamed. With open communication and trust, it’s all possible. From one woman to 30+ people, Tandem now has arms and legs around the world, working with incredible clients including the world’s biggest publishers; a scalable, moveable feast of a business model which is an utter joy to be part of. We have ambition; a huge amount. Our definition of ambition is just a little broader than that of the business standard.
The wonderful El, who has been with Tandem since the early days, says “before Tandem, my idea of success was the traditional idea of corporate success. You work hard, get the promotions, get the pay rises. I ticked off the boxes to get a higher and higher salary. I thought the harder I worked and the more I earnt, the more successful I would be. Except, I did that and ticked all the boxes. I got the promotions, I had a senior role, I was overseeing a large team but frankly I felt miserable. Stripping success back to the core, I now realise that success actually looks like being a respected member of a great group of people, who share a passion for their job. There's no ladder or politics, just simply working hard to do the best job I can knowing my contributions are seen and appreciated.”
‘A strong desire to do or achieve something’? Absolutely. We have a desire to enable parents to work around their children’s needs and the dynamics of a busy family. We have a desire to achieve balance in our lives, as well as success within Tandem. We have a strong desire to be happy; after all, isn’t that literally what life’s meaning boils down to? To be happy, and to make others happy? ‘Desire and determination to achieve success’; smashing it mate. Success, in our eyes, is providing for our children. It’s happy feedback from publishers. It’s writing about things that we love. It’s seeing smiles on faces. It’s laughing together. It’s bringing joy to our fantastic community around the world. It’s helping authors’ dreams come true. It’s going on work retreats. It’s being able to go to the dentist about that sore tooth and not feeling guilty about it. It’s going for a run mid-afternoon on a work day because it’s sunny outside and nobody is going to yell at you. It’s showing people your cat or dog during a work meeting via video call, because they’re cute. It’s saying “love you” to sign off work calls and the “this made me think of you” recommendations and the ‘I love how you did that”s and the “I’m so proud of you”s and the “can you help me?”s that flow freely and abundantly through our emails and calls and messages. It’s your kid popping their head into frame and not being worried that you’re being ‘unprofessional’. It’s sleeping well at night, feeling satisfied that you did a good job that day, then were able to switch off and be present that evening. It’s waking up with a fresh idea that you can’t wait to discuss with your colleagues. Success is looking forward to tomorrow. Ambition is making tomorrow even better than today was, whether that’s in a big or a small way, a work or a home way, a you or a them way. Here at Tandem, we do ambition and success, and we do it really, really well; because it’s centred around what matters to us, as individuals, and as the collective.